Bothersome Quote

Sometimes, you just need to distance yourself from people.  If they care, they'll notice; if they don't, you know where you stand.

This quote has popped up in my social media feed several times lately, and every time I see it, I cringe.  There's no way to know where it originated from, but I presume it was a woman since we are more naturally relational.  It sounds like a whiny cry for attention from a child.  I mean no offense to those of you who have re-posted this, but have you really taken the time to THINK about this quote?


What gets me the most, is that this quote sort of implies a test of some kind.  You can't 'go off the grid' silently and then get upset when no one notices.  That's like playing hide 'n seek with your friends except you're the only one who knows there's a game going on, and then getting pouty when no one comes to find you.  Unfortunately, we ladies can fall into this kind of habit easily.

Anytime we make a relationship all about us and getting our needs met by the other person, we do damage to that relationship.  God wants us to put others before ourselves, and yes, that does sometimes mean applying our own oxygen mask before helping others, but this quote demonstrates a very selfish attitude.  Sure, maybe you do need some time to yourself, away from people, or someone in particular.  However, why can't you let that person know that you need space?  Give them warning.  Or at the least, if you don't want to tell them you're 'distancing' yourself, then give them the benefit of the doubt that perhaps they have their own life to attend to rather than assuming they don't care about you when they don't "notice" you've gone silent.  Ultimately, the person who holds to this quote and says they want some distance is demanding validation, not seeking distance.  Quite frankly, that's not a person I want to be friends with.

Reader, I urge to you turn the tables of our cultural habits and instead of gettin' all self-righteous when your friend hasn't noticed your distance, or your struggle, or whatever issue you want them to notice - instead, think of her first and realize that perhaps she has a bigger problem than you and is waiting for you to call her and find out about it.  If it's out of character for her not to notice, there's probably a real reason for it.

It's time to stand up and walk the Walk of Christ and LOVE those around us regardless of whether or not they love us back!  We are NOT called to play petty games with our friends.  It's time to BE the kind of friend that you THINK your friend ought to be to you.  Give up your RIGHTS and take up your CROSS.